These Two Jesters- A Nomad Tale

Once upon a time a long, long time ago in a land far, far away there was a place called the West Street Grill. There were two jesters who met there. They sweated and toiled. They fumbled and foiled. Their paths the same. Their minds untamed. Their futures aligned. Their recipes sublime.
The two jesters found their way through the darkness and met on the Garden Path. They joined hands in a way that was not too gay and marched through the kingdom bringing good eats and good laughs to the masses.
This land was ruled by two kings. These two kings were from two different countries - both ruling in a strange land. These two kings were lost in their own preferences. One king was from Judea, an ancient land with ancient laws. The second king, diminutive in stature was from a Celtic Kingdom. The king from Judea was fair and honest but sometimes confused and misguided. He moaned and groaned and bellowed. He mispronounced and had a gassy way about his royal arse. The Celt was argumentative, prejudiced, and generally just a bore. The Celt, who by the way was rather troll-like, spoke of himself as possessing a great wealth of knowledge and cuisine. However this was not the case. These two kings found late in life that they each greatly enjoyed the salty taste of the other king's scepter. Therefore in their eyes there was no need for queens.
The two jesters struggled with the kings of this land. Both kings self absorbed in their own bizarre agendas of how the kingdom should be. Chives on this, Dill on that, Don’t rinse the fishes! Many days in the kingdom their rule wrought total confusion.

Fortunately the jesters had each other. The jesters shared food and drink. They shared merriment and sadness. These jesters made their way through the woods and mountains, through the creeks and the foothills. These two jesters kept their own sanity by doing what jesters do… making light of the court and its misgivings. They created diversions for the surfs and wenches. They invented the Rollercoaster, and other whimsical forms of wonder.

The kings would bicker - my way, my way it’s the best ! I am the Concept King… I am the king of the riches. I am in charge …. no me, it's me. Their bizarre behavior kept the kingdom on the edge and out of their minds.
The kings were not liked by the rulers of the other kingdoms. These foolish kings owed the neighboring kings much unpaid wealth for the purchase of cattle and swine, for the fruits of the land and the fishes of the seas. The other kingdoms supplied mead and grog for the two buffoon kings and also went unpaid. The two jesters had to field complaints and rebuttal from the suppliers of the kingdom.

This kingdom had many wenches and surfs. And the kings would summon them, to keep abreast of the climate of the kingdom. The surfs would usually comply. The surfs would scurry and fetch, scrub and wretch. Dig and sow, plant and plow. The wenches, not so much. Dem bitches was pretty tough. The mead and grog flowed from the pantry of the kingdom into the bellies of the wenches, surfs and jesters. These peasants grew weary and intoxicated from the daily bickering and the lack of guidance. The jesters did their best to keep the kingdom free from grief and sorrow. But this was a difficult task considering the unrest in the kingdom. The people came and went and ate of the spoils of the kingdom, unknowing of the truth.

The two jesters were accompanied by other jesters at times. These other jesters however were fat and lazy and dumb as wombats. They partook in the burning of the forbidden herb. They stood close as the fields of the forbidden herb burned and breathed in its acrid but soothing clouds. This made these other jesters fatter and lazier. Sometimes they breathed in so much forbidden smoke that their cerebellums oozed out their ears and onto the castle floor. They would scoop it up with a fish spatula and try to ring the gray matter back into their ears but to no avail. The brain mass was forever lost. These other jesters were spent. Eventually the other jesters went on their way helped along by the consumption of the plumes of smoke from the forbidden herb and usually by a local constable.Then other jesters would take their places. But the two jesters remained, their bonds and plutonic man love growing every day.

The kings would sometimes take in young surf boys into their chambers. Not really, really young surf boys but young enough for it to be creepy. Maybe more appropriately they should be called young surf men. These young surfs saw the opportunities that arose from the walking of the royal dogs and the tending of the royal garden and would last only a few weeks. These young surf men would pilfer some royal jewels and be on their way, never to be seen again.

The two jesters grew weary of these kings and their manner of ruling the kingdom. The jesters did their very best not to be persuaded by the kings and their sorry ways. And the jesters did their very best to keep up the spirits of the wenches, the surfs and the masses. They fought long and hard, and kept the nobility front and center in all they did. This was in spite of the kings misgivings.
Then one day, one jester- jester two, went to the royal bank to draw his wage. A pittance against his TRUE worth. The royal banker had some bad news. " The royal bank has no wage for you noble jester" said the teller. " The two kings have squandered their riches on themselves. The second jester remembered a time when the first jester told him… " The day that the royal bank cannot produce my wage is when I will depart this kingdom."

These two jesters went on their merry way, They never looked back and they remained fast friends. The bonds they built in this kingdom of fine food and drink could never be frayed. Although they went on to different kingdoms many days apart, they stayed in touch. The ways of the foolish kings could not spoil the friendship.

To this day many, many years later the jesters remain in touch. Each of their lives full and happy. The two kings, still stuck in their rut remain clueless in the kingdom of Ridgefield.
The jesters lived happily ever after.
I sign off Nomad - Jester 2.