SHELL SHOCKED - THE TRUTH

Let's face it its incredible - its edible - it’s the Egg. Its breakfast, it's dessert, its leavening, it’s a wash, it’s a soufflé. It's an omelet, scrambled, poached, dropped in soup, fried, hard boiled, deviled, soft boiled, a frittata, pickled, over easy, sunny side up, it’s a mousse, it's a quiche, don’t be afraid to unleash- all the possibilities that are the egg . It is the most versatile food stuff in the world. It has been beaten, frothed, meringued, coddled , baked , and decorated. Some folks bury them in the ground for 100 years.(WTF ? ) It's an icon for religions, a staple for all kitchens, and acceptable food for vegans (some). Its oval , a sign of life, self protected, sometimes neglected, often rejected. Made to wait, left to its own fate, travels in a crate, don’t forget to refrigerate. Billions are eaten every year. Amateurs cook them without fear, some people add them to their beer. They can be runny, they can be funny, they can be tight, and they can be white ( but not all the time). How much more can I ramble off here ? Get some eggs and cook them, book them, nook them and head on down the road with them .
Egg-citing Facts
As a kid in Brooklyn we wandered the streets on Halloween eve and "egged" unsuspecting passersby, buses and cars. If we rang your bell to trick or treat, and your treats sucked you were getting it. If you liked a girl it was considered sign of affection to "egg" her house to profess your admiration. If you got caught by her ham handed, pot bellied, mustachioed, Italian father ( or mother) it would be unlikely you would be courting her on the stoop any time soon. If left untreated on some cars overnight the cracked egg would remove the paint.
The classic chefs white toque is the tall hat worn in many kitchens. The 101 folds in the toque is said to signify the many ways to cook an egg.
Sold by the dozen ? Who's idea was that?
Chicken eggs are the most widely used but technically all eggs are edible. Duck and goose eggs are available in some areas. Quail eggs are considered a delicacy, and are shelved in some gourmet and ethnic stores. Various types of exotic eggs are available for a price.
The classic "century egg" or 100 year egg is a Chinese tradition born out of the need to preserve the egg. It is coated in ash, lime, salt ,clay and straw and "buried" for weeks to months. The result is a creamy dark green yolk that reeks of Sulphur and Ammonia, and a jelly like white that now has turned a dark brown or black. According to some, the century egg has over five centuries of history behind its production. Its discovery, though not verifiable, was said to have occurred during the Ming Dynasty 600 years ago in Hunan, when a home owner discovered duck eggs in a shallow pool of slaked lime that was used for mortar during construction of his home 2 months before. Upon tasting the eggs he set out to produce more, this time with the addition of salt to improve this taste, thus resulting in the present recipe of the century egg.
Side note : In 1998 I traveled to Brazil for work. I took Connecticut Limo from Danbury to JFK. At one of the stops two old Asian women boarded and sat on the bench seat next to me. The older one ( she was about 119) whips out this little canvas bag and immediately the bus fills with this rancid odor. It was like a disemboweled goat baking in 100 degree weather . I watch in horror as she unwraps these cocoon like ovums from their mud packed casings. The eggs were an opaque black and the real treat began when she and her little sister (104) began chowing down on these fowl ( pun intentional ) puss like wavos. It was a long ride. The 2 hour bus ride to New York seemed longer that the 14 plus hour flight to Sao Paulo. It was Egg- stremely nauseating. I had a bag of Fritos, and a Dr. Pepper.
Egg cartons have a secret code of DaVinci like proportions. There are three sets of numbers. The P or plant number indicates the where they were packed. The second one to three digit number is the packed on date. It is the Julian date. January first is 001- December 31 is 365.Using this calendar you can see how long ago your eggs were washed, packed and shipped. Then there is usually a sell by date.
Egg size is rated is usually six sizes, as the chart below indicates:

Modern Sizes (USA)
Size
Mass per egg
Cooking Yield (Volume)[3]
Jumbo
Greater than 2.5 oz. or 71 g
Very Large or Extra-Large (XL)
Greater than 2.25 oz. or 64 g
56 ml(4tbsp)
Large (L)
Greater than 2 oz. or 57 g
46 ml (3.25 tbsp)
Medium (M)
Greater than 1.75 oz. or 50 g
43 ml (3 tbsp)
Small (S)
Greater than 1.5 oz. or 43 g
Peewee
Greater than 1.25 oz. or 35 g

I have never seen a Peewee egg.
Many egg producers are now using laser technology to place the expiration date right on the shell.
Jumbo and Extra large eggs are most likely to contain double yolks. It like eating the Doublemint Twins.
What is the deal with brown eggs ? Well there is one huge difference between brown eggs and white eggs. Brown eggs are brown and white eggs are white.
That is all. White chickens have white feathers and earlobes and lay white eggs. Red and brown chickens lay brown eggs. It all in the earlobe, the tell tale color of the earlobe will determine the color of the egg.
The US produces 10% of the worlds egg product.
If you have trouble remembering which eggs have been hardboiled, just spin them. A raw egg will wobble, a cooked egg spins effortlessly.
Eggs have been used in fortune telling ceremonies and matchmaking practices in many cultures for years. Eggs are also thought to provide a link to our dearly departed.
Side Note: I had my best egg meal about six years ago at a little café on Block Island. We went to the island for a friend's wedding and stopped into this place on Sunday morning. The eggs were creamy and sweet and there was something very different about them. When I inquired was informed that they were laid that morning. Truly a difference.




Vegetable Frittata
I start this in a Teflon pan and go directly into the oven to finish. All ingredients are in the frittata. A great one dish meal, addition to a buffet , or a brunch item.

8 large eggs-
Asparagus or Broccoli - 1 cup parboiled and chopped
1 small onion thinly sliced and sautéed until soft
1/2 cup mushrooms sliced
1 Jalapeno pepper minced sautéed with the onion
2 cloves minced garlic sautéed with the onion
2 tbsp butter
1/4 cup extra sharp cheddar cheese
1/4 cup pepper jack cheese
Nutmeg- salt and pepper to taste
Sauté onion in half the butter, for 4-5 minutes or until soft. Add the jalapeno and the garlic at 3 minutes. Beat the eggs in a large stainless steel bowl season with salt and pepper. Season with fresh or ground nutmeg to taste. Assure a smooth consistent mixture with no hint of puddles of egg white or globs of yolk. In a twelve inch Teflon pan heat the butter on medium heat until slightly brown. Add the egg mixture and keep on heat for 3-5 minutes until bottom begins cook. Add vegetables assuring all veggies are spread out within the pan. Top with cheeses and reduce heat to medium low. At this point you may cover and keep pan on the stovetop or place into a 325 degree oven. At 15 minutes check for doneness. Allow the frittata to cool and but serve warm. Serve with toasted baguette, English muffins, or rye toast. Consider a garnish of fresh dill and some melon on the plate to add sweetness.

Variations : Spinach- Feta -Roasted Red Pepper, Red and Green Bell Peppers and pre-cooked Potatoes, Corn and Black Beans.

I close with this question ……… Are you Happy ????????


No, Mad HMMMMMM